Monday, April 27, 2015

I Just Need to be Seen

At our weekly gathering of moms, recently, a fellow mom said to me (and our group), "Pregnant women often want to be seen.  They want someone to say, "I see you. I see your baby.""

My initial thought was, "Phew, how could anyone miss me and this big ol' baby bump!?"

But, I had missed it.  Thankfully, God knew I missed it...He seared those words into my brain for the following days, and they made their way into my heart for more contemplation.

In the mean time, I had been obediently reading my Bible; studying it.  Praying, being thankful. Growing closer to Jesus.

Satan was pissed.

Often, when I am getting close to Jesus, Satan attacks under the guise of depression.  I begin to slip into a low place and get out of my patterns of obedience.  "You're not good enough," Satan whispers.  "No one sees you," he says.  "Doing the bare minimum is more than acceptable," he seduces.

But, Sheryl's words of truth drew me to Christ.  She was right. I want to be seen.  Not visually.  But as a person of value.  I want someone to say, "I see you. Your work is hard, and you're doing a good job. I see your baby. I see you being the vessel of a miracle. I see you."

As moms we have made the transition from single woman -all about us, to wife -putting our husband first, to mom -putting our husband and children first. We slowly creep down the list of importance in our own lives and we draw recognition towards others.  We fall to the background.  And that's ok.  Most of the time, there's no place we'd rather be.

However, there are times when I want someone to see me.  To recognize my work.  To acknowledge me as a human.  As a woman. As a wife. As a mother. Nothing elaborate or fancy, just a simple, "Hey, I see you."

But, people don't always see others.  This is not really anyone's fault.  It's not their job to see me.  It's not their job to make me feel worthy or loved.  And even if they wanted to, their value and love would not be enough.  It never is.

Enter Jesus.

The Creator of the universe sees me.  The Author of salvation sees me.  The King of Kings sees me.

Jesus sees me.

Not only does He see me, He values me.  He loves me.

I know I am worthy and loved when I look at the magnificent man he's given to me as a husband.
I know I am worthy and loved when I look at the precious children he's entrusted to me.
I know I am worthy and loved when I look at the small piece of earth he's placed us on to take care of.
I know I am worthy and loved when scripture pops into my head at just the moment I need it.

I know I am worthy and loved because I am a child of God.

I know I am worthy and loved.

I am worthy and loved.

Jesus sees me.

There is no greater confidence I have on Earth.  Nothing compares to the peace it brings when Satan attacks my head.  The strength it conjures when the laundry is on the line and it starts raining.  The patience it summons when I'm stepping into the shower and both little boys need to poop. The calm that washes over me as I listen to the chickens while I'm pulling weeds.

Jesus reminds me that I am worthy.  I am loved.

And in that moment, He sees me.

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