Saturday, October 18, 2014

Mission Control

I originally started this post with, "I feel like...".  But it's more than that.  It's more than a feeling, guys.  This is who I am.  This is who my kids will grow up to be.  This is more than just how I feel because feelings are fleeting.  They ebb and flow more toddlers like and dislike of Rescuebots!  

I am sitting in the Co-Director's seat in Mission Control.  Who the heck thought I was qualified for this position?!  But, thank God I am not the pilot!  Holy pressure, Batman! (Exclamation points, anyone?!!!!!!) 

But back to Mission Control.  Have you ever seen the movie Apollo 13?  Every day I hear that infamous line in my head, "Houston. We have a problem."  Then, I have to try fitting a round peg in a square hole.  My call, however, goes more like this, "Kate, what are you going to do about life?"

So here's my current "feeling", and my original start to this post:
I feel like I am at Mission Control, and I have to manage not one, but multiple Operations.

Let me list a few for you:

Operation: Get Healthy
Operation: Mom
Operation: One Toy. So Much Joy
Operation: Life Decompartmentalization
Operation: Jesus Focus
Operation: Homeschool
Operation: Grieve
Operation: Small Business
Operation: Community
Operation: Friendships
Operation: Marriage

Talk about round peg, square hole.  All of these Missions are staring me in the face Every. Single. Day.  Again, thank you Jesus for being the Pilot...phew!  

I'm not the pilot.  I'm not steering this ship.  However, I have to make decisions and answer questions every day.  
How will I teach my children to live in community and not compartmentalize their relationship with Jesus?  
Is grief over losing my best friend going to sucker punch me today?  How will I deal with that?
How will I model good friendships for my boys today?
What will I feed my family for dinner tonight?
Does that lesson encompass different aspects of learning for my 4yo AND my 2yo?
What is the balance today?
Did I feed my marriage in a positive way today? How can I do better tomorrow?
Will I get a chance to contact ___ about my Osito products today?
Are my kids getting bored with their toys?  Is it time to switch them out, or practice generosity and give a few away?
How can we, as a family, love God's people today?
When will it be best to put my devices down and focus 100% on my boys?
Have I vacuumed recently?
Did the dog eat today?
Did I eat today?

These are the things that popped into my head in about 5 minutes.  5 minutes!  This is mom brain people! And it's no joke.  These are not trivial to me. Each and every question is important, and must be answered,,,right now! But, I don't have all the answers.

I can say with honesty that all of these missions do not usually stress me out.  This is reality and it does no good to anyone to stress about it.  I can also say with honesty, that these things do not shape who I am.  Again, Jesus is the pilot.  He shapes who I am.  It does, however shape my day.  

And now, these will shape my blog.  

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